Postpartum body blues.

This entry is going to be exactly what the title says..all about my postpartum body blues. I gained entirely too much weight while pregnant. I gained 23 lbs when I was pregnant with Bentley and 46 (YES FOURTY SIX) while pregnant this time with Kins. Exactly double what I gained with Bentley. Super depressing. I have no excuse. I ate unhealthy. Ill admit that. I really have no excuse anyways. She was only 5lbs of my 46. I was feeling good when 2 weeks pp I had lost 22lb. Then 4 weeks pp came and I was up two pounds...and then six weeks pp came and I was up 5 more pounds. So frustrating. It doesn't help I'm an emotional eater, I'm so depressed all I do is sit around and eat. I need to break this. My body is so gross right now. Even if I wanted to try again, I couldn't because of my weight now. I have at least 21lb before the doctor says its healthy to get pregnant again. To top it off, I've gone up three jean sizes. Yupp, three. I'm so disgusted I let myself get this unhealthy. I'm not quite sure I will ever get the motivation to get into shape when I'm so sad :(  it's all one big freaking mess!!